Thursday, December 3, 2009

To Whom It May Concern...

Dear Friend Who Is Thinking About Getting Married,

You are, no doubt, looking forward to your wedding day with great anticipation. Regardless of age, this is likely a fairly monumental event which you will remember (good or bad) for the rest of your life. Additionally, leading up to the big day, you and your fiance likely will have devoted immeasurable amounts of time, energy, and money to insure you have your perfect moment. Because this day will be so joyous, you will want to spend it with as many of your closest friends and relatives as possible and you'd like each and every one of them to have a delightful experience as well.

So please, whatever you do, make sure you consult the calendar BEFORE finalizing the date for your wedding. If you plan to celebrate matrimony in the late winter, spring, or summer, this isnt much of an issue. (In fact, these dates are encouraged. I hear spring in Birmingham is lovely.) On the other hand, if you are are forced into the fall/early winter timeframe due to other constraints, have plenty of foresight. More specifically, do NOT choose a date coinciding with the de facto college football national championship game! Especially when you are getting married in Birmingham, Alabama and you (or your fiance) actually attended one of the schools competing in said game! Not to mention that the team from your alma mater has the best defense in the country and TEBOW, who is quite possibly the single greatest college football player of all time! This may be acceptable out in whackoland but it is most assuredly not here in the South.

If all else fails and you absolutely have to have the wedding that day, at least make the ceremony in the morning when you know the game will not be played. (As opposed to oh, I dont know, 4:30 in the afternoon...)

Just something to think about.

Yours Truly,


This is in no way related to actual events. I mean, its not like I'm attending a wedding at 4:30 on Saturday in Birmingham in which the groom will be a friend of mine who I know from UF. And its not like SEC Championship Game, pitting #1 Florida vs #2 Alabama, is this Saturday starting at 3PM (Central). I mean really, who would do such a thing??? Oh wait.........


MarkyV said...

Would you like me to TXT you updates while you sit in the church?

Andrew said...

Thanks for the offer! Luckily, though, I have been promised the ceremony will be short. Additionally, I'll be there with fellow Gators so I'm sure someone will have a fancy phone capable of providing live updates.